99. Classic Squirrel
Many years ago, a group of us were together with a guy who was nicknamed "Squirrel." He was a small guy who loved attention and didn't care what kind. He would do stuff like jump in puddles to splash people who were just walking along. One day, we were walking down a sidewalk and there was a large fresh pile of dog poop on the walkway.
He dropped back a little behind us, then ran forward and took a leap to land on it just as we were close. Except it was apparently very slippery. His feet slipped out from under him and he landed right in it. It was a thing of beauty.
100. Guess Who’s the New Sheriff in Town?
My high school buddy Steve was a troublemaker. We had a really lax teacher in sophomore English, who was a long-term substitute and not in full control of the class. Meanwhile, we also had a student-teacher named Mrs. Gomez who was good and kind, but obviously didn't have full disciplinary power either in the situation.
This leaves room for people to get rowdy, ESPECIALLY Steve. One day after a particularly loud interlude, Mrs. Gomez gets a belly full and tells Steve to be quiet. Steve looks her in the eye and says, “You're not the teacher. I don't have to do ANYTHING you say.” He then goes right back to whatever he was doing. Mrs. Gomez was LIVID.
Her face was bright red and she looked like she wanted to throttle Steve, but he was right and she knew it, so she kept her mouth shut. She got the best payback. A month later, we walk into class and the old substitute is nowhere to be seen, but there's Mrs. Gomez sitting comfortably at the teacher's desk like she owns it.
The bell rings, and she stands up and says, “Hello, everyone." She then turns and looks directly at Steve, “I'm your new teacher.” Steve didn't get away with much in class after that.
101. Don’t Mess With Traffic
I was working in a pub in Liverpool and had just arrived, about 10:00 am, to start my shift. I knocked on the door and waited for someone to let me in. I became aware of some voices shouting and turned around to see two guys, shirts off, swaggering toward me speaking a language I didn't understand, but they were calling me names.
After insulting me and laughing they walked off toward a busy road. I watched them as they walked out into the traffic, waving their arms at the cars to stop for them, then giving the drivers the finger. Suddenly, one of the cars stopped and four big guys got out. One of the car guys made out like he was going to punch one, drawing his fist far back.
The little dink just covered his face and screamed. They didn't get hit but the car guys and a lot of passersby burst out laughing. They let him go and he ran away. That felt good.
102. I’ll Take It
My last job, I was friends with everyone I worked with...except the boss. She hated me, for multiple stupid reasons. One being I constantly called her out on her awful work ethic. I know you think helping customers is your lowers' job, but when I have both lines on the phone ringing and I'm the only one on register, you walking back and forth outside of the store on your cell with a personal call isn't cool.
She eventually got sick of me not kissing her butt, so she fired me for "insubordination." Then she was fired a week later for not fulfilling her duties, multiple complaints from customers and employees, and falsifying documents. Now my best friend is the manager, but the jerk boss labeled me as "un-hire-able," so now he can't rehire me. I guess we both lose.
103. Sometimes, You Make Your Own Karma
Back in the day, my dad went to college, and his particular dormitory had around 15 floors. There was this dude, Chester, who lived in the center apartment on the 14th floor, facing the north side. This meant that Chester's window was located directly above the entrance to the dormitory. This was not a good thing.
Chester, being the real idiot he was, would come home from school and wind down by throwing water balloons at the people walking into the building. Not even people he particularly hated or anything. Chester just did this to everyone for fun. Well one day, he hits my dad. Big mistake, as he would soon find out.
My dad and his friend bring a garbage can up 15 flights of stairs, head to the bathroom, and fill it with water. They then head up to his friend's dorm, which happens to be right above Chester's. A couple of girls walk up the steps to the door. Chester leans out of his window, prepared to throw the balloons, and is promptly hit with an entire garbage can of water.
104. Like Any Other Coffee Break
When I was in high school, our music teacher was this awesome older dude who was close to retiring. He would openly tell everyone that he was in it for the pension, but was an awesome teacher and could teach any class from music to hospitality to welding to woodshop. One thing he refused to do, though, was putting up with teenager shenanigans.
Luckily he took a liking to me, but he used to do things like throw chalk at kids and other harmless stuff that got the point across. But then there was a rule change, and teachers weren't allowed to lay a hand on any kid in school at any point. I watched kids beat each other, and teachers just having to watch because they’d lose their jobs if they interfered.
One day, this little jerk who was always causing trouble decided that he was going to start a fight in front of the music room. The awesome music teacher comes in, sees this, and tells him to stop a few times. The guy didn't. So he went back into his office, grabbed his large coffee, and dumped it all over the kid.
105. The Principle of the Thing
I worked as a database administrator for a community center one summer in university. Basically, I created a database for them to track who was donating to them and how much they were donating, as well a who was volunteering, and for how many hours. Very simple work and despite being the youngest person on staff, I got along well with my co-workers.
Well, except for my immediate boss, who was a total piece of work. The next spring, I was applying for jobs and e-mailed my old boss to ask for a letter of recommendation. Much to my surprise, she told me that she didn't write recommendation letters "out of principle." I was pretty ticked off about it because I was finding it very difficult to find a position.
Not being able to count on my most recent employer for a reference was a definite blemish on my resume. However, in spite of this, I managed to land a decent job. Lo and behold, I got to get revenge on day one of my new job. That 3day, my boss happened to email me about a problem at my old work with the database I had worked on.
She had moved some files around, rendering it impossible for her to access the database. She asked if I would come in. I had the best reply. I e-mailed her back and told her I already had a job and couldn't do it "out of principle." From the center's perspective, it effectively made my entire summer a waste of time. Hey, what can you do?
106. The Customer Is Always Right, Especially This Lady
I was out to eat, and this younger lady was acting like a total witch in the restaurant to the staff. Everyone was obviously getting really embarrassed by her behavior…until this middle-aged lady piped up and said from her table, “Oh honey, you’re not pretty enough to act like that.” I seriously could have burst out into applause.
107. Back off My Buns
There was an elementary school next to my high school, and some of the kids who went there were really messed up. They were like eight or 10, standing outside and being rude little jerks to everyone who walked past them. We were actually shocked with their vocabulary. Anyway, one day I was walking by, alone, eating some buns.
This one kid comes up to me with a smug look on his face and yells, "GIVE ME A BUN, YOU IDIOT!" The look on my face was must have been something like shock or disbelief as I replied, "No! Screw Off!" to him before I turned my back on the kid and started walking away to get to my next class on time. Big. Mistake.
I suddenly feel a slight push and weight added to my back. The kid was hanging on my back, pulling my hair and screaming "GIVE ME A BUN!" I felt like I had been attacked by an angry leper gnome. In my panic, the only thought I had in my head was "OH MY GOD! GET THIS OFF OF ME!” In some weird move worthy of WWE, I spun around quickly while straightening my back and loosened my backpack, which caused this little jerk to fly off me.
He spun around in the air and landed face-first on the concrete. He immediately started crying like the kid he was. I proceeded to walk over to him. His teary, fear-filled eyes stared up at me as I picked up my backpack. I turned my back on him again, picked up a new bun, and enjoyed the fading sound of that brat's crying as I walked away, eating my sweet bun.
108. Crazy Grandpa
As I entered the hospital room, a tense atmosphere greeted me, with family members engaged in heated arguments over inheritances. Among the visitors, a particular individual approached me, boldly inquiring about expediting the process. The audacity of the question ignited a fire within me, prompting me to seek out the elderly man at the center of the familial disputes. Determined to confront him about his family's sinister intentions, I entered his room, ready to unveil their true colors. With a mixture of shock and disbelief, I relayed their disturbing request to eliminate him from the equation. However, instead of reacting with anger or fear, the old man simply smiled, a mysterious glimmer in his eyes. Caught off guard by his calm demeanor, I implored him, "Aren't you going to do something about it?" His enigmatic response sent a chill down my spine. "I already have. You will see." Realizing that I had left something important in the family room, As I entered the family room, where tensions ran high and greed clouded judgment, I realized that I had left something crucial behind. As I glanced around, my eyes widened, and my jaw dropped in astonishment at the sight before me. There, in the midst of the chaotic atmosphere, stood a table adorned with documents—wills, deeds, and intricate legal papers. It became clear that this room held the key to the family's intense arguments about inheritances. My heart raced as I realized the magnitude of what I had stumbled upon. These documents contained the answers to the family's hidden motives, the truth behind their ruthless pursuit of wealth. With trembling hands, I cautiously approached the table, recognizing the immense power and consequences that lay within those papers. At that moment, I held the future of the family's inheritance in my hands, and I understood the weight of the choices that awaited me.
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