I was working at a restaurant as a cook. We did full menu till 11:00 PM, then apps and burgers till 1:00 AM. I tended to pull the solo night shift, because I would walk out the door at 1:05 AM and the kitchen was stocked, clean, and perfect.
It was a long night. Stupid front of house kept sending back food orders after 1:00 AM, I didn’t leave till 2:00 AM. 30 minute drive home, and I was exceptionally tired.
I lived in the boonies of Wisconsin, at the time. A good 5km outside of town, which was 500 people, 2 churches, and 9 bars. I hit the little 24/7 truck stop just at the edge of that town for some munchies and smokes, and made the final trek home.
Encountering deer was not uncommon out there, so I was going slow. But what appeared before me, to my tired eyes, was a monster.
It had a huge, round body. This crazy long neck, a pointy head, and only 2 legs. Right in the middle of the road. Scared the ever loving crap out of me in that state.
Thankfully, it stood there for a second. Brain re-engaged. It’s an ostrich. Ok, not a monster, heh, just… an…
What the heck is an ostrich doing wandering around in Central Wisconsin?!?
I looked at it, it looked at me. I blinked. Nope, still there. Pretty sure it’s real. Finally, it trundled off into the forest.
I grabbed my cellphone, and called the tiny little police station in town (non-emergency number).
“So… I’m really tired, so please laugh at me and tell me to go home and sleep and ignore the call… but I’m pretty sure I just saw an ostrich on Highway xx just outside town.”
She started laughing hysterically, then assured me that:
- No, I’m not hallucinating.
- There’s an ostrich and emu farm on the other side of town, guy raises them for the kitsch places in town for meat.
- Some hammered driver felt that “turns are for losers”, went up, over the berm, through the fence, and through most of the barn.
- There’s still 4 animals, including the one I just spotted, unaccounted for.
- Where are you exactly, and which way did it go so we can round it up?
I gave her the info, finished the last few miles home, and died in bed. Wild night, man.